A Queen's Diary
It's funny how we could easily fall into bad habits but it takes so much more to get out of them. It's like allowing your grades to slip in school and having to work 10 times harder to get them up. It's so easy to fall of course from your plans, patterns and schedules. We become so consumed with the agenda we've written out for our lives. Some of us have our days planned out in our minds and if one thing fails to go the way we planned, our whole day is ruined. We have to learn that plans are just that, plans! Plans can and will change along life's journey. Our idea of the achieving each goal in our plans may not be the correct protocol. Some plans change for the good and some plans change just to get our attention. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a plan. I believe we all need guidance in our lives or we won't know where we are going and what steps that may be needed to get us there. The older I get, the more I realize that I have to allow things to fall in and out my plans and just adjust to them. It's better to have a blueprint than to be caught up in life without one. Let's just say you spilled a cup of coffee on your rough draft, or worse, you've misplaced your rough draft right before an important business meeting. It's ok to start over! it's ok to plan again! Plans are our ideas of achievements leading to our end goals. Although things happen and plans change, unexpected realignment will eventually put you on the right path to get you to where you are supposed to be. We have to keep in mind the motivation that fueled us to make these plans in the first place.
To be different....what does it really mean? It’s simply looking, being or doing things like no other. As a child, I've always been a bit different from others, whether that be in my appearance, my attitude or personality. Often that came with bullying and teasing. I’ve dealt with it most of my life and always tried to, ‘Fit In’. But right around my senior year in college, I came to see that I was indeed different and that was ok. I had to realize that God created me to His liking and in His image. Once you realize that there is no one else like you and you’re unique and special in your own way......Own it and embrace it! It was a long journey but I’m happy with who I am and I love being different!
P.s- Remember God broke the mold when he created you!
Sometimes it’s hard for me to truly share how I’m feeling. I’m so use to keeping my emotions bottled up inside until I erupt like a volcano. It started to reflect in my relationship with God and I was operating as an abandoned orphan and treating Him like He would leave me like everyone else. But then He reminded me in 1 Peter 5:7 to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I now realize that God cares for me so there should be no reason I can’t come to Him and share what’s on my heart. Only way I can truly be open to Him is if I stop seeing Him through the lens of those who mishandled my vulnerability. He is NOT them!!! I don’t have to have this wall up all the time and be anxious. I believe there are people that He will divinely connect me with that truly have my best interest.
Prayer: So Father right now, deal with my heart. Deal with my rejection from people and posture me to be able to be vulnerable again. I will no longer subscribe to this cycle of brokenness. In Jesus name, AMEN.
- Queen Vency L. Haynes
One of the hard truths in life is that true growth will require you to endure some discomfort. If you want to build muscles you lift weights and the next day your arms feel like jelly. Your biceps and triceps will ache so badly that you would barely be able to raise your hands above your head. However, the harder you work, the more time you put in and the more consistent you are in your efforts, those muscles will grow. Growing pains are inevitable and necessary to achieve your goals. Constructive discomfort is good. It is a sign that you are moving towards your ambitions. I said all that to simply say, this year when you feel that discomfort push through the pain. Keep in mind that the discomfort you are feeling, that pain you are experiencing, is a sign that you are making progress and your goals are closer that they feel.
Happy New Year Queen!!!
In this year, I've learned to have patience in my process. Sometimes God will put a stop to YOUR plans in the craziest ways that would make you question your faith, not realizing that He may be protecting you from unseen tragedies. What I do know is, that my detour was designed. I've learned to have patience with myself. Tirelessly chasing your goals at anything more than the speed of God could only end in failure. We expect blessings overnight that we aren't even prepared to receive. You want a new house... can you comfortably afford it? You're tired of being single... are you equipped to be a committed husband or a submissive wife? Your bank account is overdrawn... have you tried training for higher-paid positions or budgeting? Your life is in shambles....have you tried positive thinking or are you busy playing victim?
Yes, you see everybody around you being blessed but that's because it's THEIR season; be happy for them. Your time will come, just don't lose hope and never stop praying. The very disruption that shook your faith may be the very thing to lead you to places you could never see had God allowed you to go through with YOUR plan. Continue to walk in integrity, dont lose your ambition... God will handle the rest.
If you want to be successful in, you can google self-help remedies and most of it suggest to, ‘Fake It Til’ You Make It.’ If you want to be a great business person, fake it til you make it. If you want to seem more confident, fake it til you make it. But what about your happiness? Should it apply to being happy? We live in a busy world where at times it can seem as if we are just going through the motions to make it to the end of the day, to the end of the week, or even the next hour. With life’s distractions sometimes our own personal well being is put on the back burner to make sure we are able to just make it through. Taking care of the kids, working 40 plus hours at work, taking college courses and working two part time jobs or what ever reality has given you. I woke up and asked myself... Am I faking my happiness so others aren't uncomfortable? Others that count on my happiness as validation that they are happy. I don't want to disappoint them so let me at least fake it today, eventually I will be. It can be so overwhelming at times. I am realizing that maybe I am so good at faking happiness that I truly have bought into my own lie. Having a successful career, business degrees, a marriage of over 20 years, meaningful friendships, great kids, beautiful house, luxury car everything that I thought would make me happy in life I have it, so why am I still pretending to be happy? It has taken brutal self reflection to see that I have to step back from what other people view to be the perfect happy life and find me, and what makes me truly happy. I know that being perfect or portraying a perfect life does not mean a happy life all the time. I am working on being happy. I am working on me and taking time out for myself, first instead of last. I want to be able to be a strong role model and mentor for young women and not feel as if I am selling a story, but my truth. And that truth is, I am no longer able to fake it...I am working on making it, I am working on me.
Mind over matter is a phrase that typically refers to the ability to use will power and self control over physical limitations. Limitations, whether they are physical or mental, will in many ways hinder us from reaching our full potential. That's why it is important for us to believe that we are nothing less than powerful in our determination and girt to succeed over the challenges, obstacles, situations, circumstance and the many unresolved issues we face in our day to day lives.
Easier said than done right?! On a mission to live a healthier lifestyle by losing weight? It's going to take will power and much self control to turn away from the foods and we are used to and start eating right and exercising. Believing in the truth in your thoughts and abilities are the key to manifesting your true purpose and destiny. Be clear about your thoughts and what it is you really want. Even if you don't see it. Speak to your mind about your future. What is your dream? Your mind is telling that you will be a CEO of your own company but matter is saying, "How, when you don't have a two dimes to rub together?" Don't let 'what is' stop you from believing in 'what will' be. Be clear on what is needed to live out your dreams. Make it detailed, fill in the gaps and leave nothing out. Whether it's a wonderful family, a successful business, a thriving career or a luxury car, stay positive in your attitude and keep a clear and focused mind over the matter.
If you have a story that you'd like to share to inspire someone else, please submit your inquiries here on our website!
You ever stop to think that your problems may not be as bad as they seem? For example, I had a classmate say that they were having the worst day ever because they got salsa on their brand new shirt and couldn't change until later that evening. I mean, he was upset for a couple of hours about this shirt. Meanwhile, someone is mourning the loss of a family member or wondering where their next meal would come from or struggling to find employment....
Some times, we have to stop and be grateful for the little things. Waking up to see a new day is a blessing in itself. Besides, if your problems were placed in a pile next to someone else's, you'd probably snatch your problems back....