September 10th, 2019

Ladies do yourself a favor, when ex-wives and ex-girlfriends try to warn you of extreme insecurity and controlling behavior...don't ignore them! Don't ignore the very obvious red flags that he shows to you. Don't convince yourself that these things will get better because they will only get worse!! When all is said and done, you'll realize that person has managed to successfully alienate you from your friends and even your own "family". They manipulate you day by day and will use your past traumatic experiences and sheltered childhood to disguise the reasoning for their controlling. I grew up in a very nice area, and Syracuse could NEVER come anywhere close to where I'm from. This whole area was just ghetto and trashy to me. Well that was his key to scaring me from going anywhere outside of our home; not to Walmart or even the library. I would go to the mall from time to time, but I'd be prepared to video chat him on demand after he evaluates what I'm wearing and tries talking me out of going to the mall by telling me people are robbing, shooting and stabbing each other there.

I had a traumatic experience a few years ago that he was aware of. That was his golden ticket to justify why he was abusing his police powers by looking up any and every male that crossed my path, including my coworkers and classmates. He took pictures of male coworkers license plates and screenshots of Facebook profile names to run their information at work which was the "norm," once he got comfortable. If he was truly doing this in good faith, he would've look up females as well.

3 weeks ago I realized if I allowed this extreme insecurity and controlling behavior to continue, I may become a missing person in the future. I say that because this behavior wasn't getting better, it was getting WAY worse! That is when I told him I wanted a divorce. There have been many happy times, but overall, this relationship has been the most miserable and stressful relationship I've EVERVbeen in. Yes we took happy pictures, but that goes to show you, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors. I'm very strong-minded and independent. I'm not one to be controlled, but I allowed it without even realizing it. I can only imagine how bad things would have been if I didn't have my own income, and solely depended on him.

The truth hurts, and people aren't always who you think they are. I'm was normally pretty private about my relationship problems, and he was QUITE the opposite. I've asked him to keep this private, but he couldn't wait to tell the whole world. I've been biting my tongue through his false accusations of me in his attempt to justify his extreme insecurity and controlling issues. I've been trying to keep the peace and play nicely through this divorce, but I'm done being quiet to protect his image and keeping the peace for him. I'm DONE!


DO NOT IGNORE EX'S AND RED FLAGS!


-Queen Jacquelene Ivana